- Ubisoft Wants 'Endless Gameplay' for The Division
- The Witcher 3 Opening Cinematic
- Assassin's Creed Unity Now Available to Pre-Download on Xbox One
- Possible Halo 5 Release Date Leaked
- 'M' Rating on Dragon Age Because of Implied Fellatio
- Assassin's Creed Unity System Requirements
- Mornin '14
- CoD: Advanced Warfare Recommended Specs Unveiled
- Assassin's Creed Unity Open World Trailer
- 3D Realms is Back with 3D Realms Anthology
- Free Version of Xbox Music Getting Cut
- Xbox One Snapshot Feature in 2015
- Movie Time - Avengers: Age of Ultron Debut Trailer
- The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Intro Teaser
- Titanfall Update to Add...Co-op
Biggest Letdowns of 2011
Each year treats us to some good moments and bad ones. With the Game of the Year Awards behind us, we now take a glimpse at all those games that were below par and didn't quite meet our expectations. Of course, while certain games didn't meet our expectations, others were just total turds. You can't run away from these colossal giants, these towering mountains of dung as they rise, ever spreading their deadly fumes and choking every last one of us. We waste money on them, we try to play them and instead we get a shit-pie in the face. Instead of entertainment all we get is frustration, severe headaches and hours of swearing (not the fun kind either).
Before we go any further, it's important to make one thing absolutely clear. We couldn't single out any particularly bad strategy games this year, which is why we left out that category. Might & Magic: Heroes VI was slightly disappointing, but it would be unfair to brand it as the worst strategy in 2011. In addition, don't get too worked up about Dead Island being the 'Buggiest' game. It's just one of those games that feels like it could've been so much better, if it had go through more rigorous testing.
Duke Nukem Forever
"Bloody hell, how fucking awful."
Why it sucks
What can you say about a game that launches after a 15-year development cycle? Obviously, you can say: "Wow, this was worth the wait!" And yet, I'm pretty sure none of you will say that. Waiting for this game has raised expectations to ridiculous levels, until the game was inches away from being completely scrapped, but was salvaged thanks to Gearbox Software. Unfortunately, Duke Nukem Forever has little that would possibly make it stand out in a market overcrowded with shooters. Everything on offer in DNF feels outdated, from the gameplay mechanics and the visuals, to the lousy humor aimed at a crowd that doesn't exist anymore - teenagers from the 90s, mostly. So, on top of being crap, the game was released too damn late.
Contenders: Thor: God of Thunder, Dragon Age.
Duke Nukem Forever
"Not worth the immensely long wait."
Why it sucks
We've said everything we possibly could about this lousy excuse of a game. To make things easier for both you and me, here's a snip from our review:
Trouble is, the overly burly, macho-oriented self-obsessed muscle-head hero archetype lost its appeal about 15 years back, so the character's shallow image may not attract players, even once they leave their brain functions on the shelf. Some games are just meant for fun and relaxation. However, DNF tends to take things overboard in almost every way conceivable and again, this is entertaining for about a few minutes and then it gets old and just plain stupid. In short, the developers may have missed the target with the humor and characterization in this game. It's unlikely to appeal to even the youngest members of their audience.
Contenders: Thor: God of Thunder, Red Faction: Armageddon.
Dragon Age 2
"BioWare takes a completely different and utterly wrong turn."
Why it sucks
Dragon Age is a franchise which we hoped would dominate the RPG scene by this time. BioWare decided to turn things upside down, so to speak. Dragon Age: Origins treated players to an amazingly complex role-playing game, a vast and rich world with a wide range of beautiful locations to explore. The sequel has fundamentally changed everything we enjoyed in the previous game. Hurling us into an uninteresting story, boring and cheesy characters, was one thing. The biggest mistake was oversimplifying the gameplay and making players go through generic and repetitive areas, with plenty of backtracking. On its own. Dragon Age 2 isn't exactly a total disaster. However, compared to its predecessor, it's a disgrace.
Contenders: Hunted: The Demon's Forge.
"Not too bad, but far from perfect."
Why it sucks
Before the bonfire begins, I'd like to emphasize that I don't think Dead Island was utter crap. It's a solid enough game, if you're after survival-horror games in co-op. But it's still an experience without substance, not to mention that there was a range of nasty little bugs throughout the game. Nothing major, but certainly enough to piss you off at some points. Alpha Protocol was last year's buggiest game and I can safely say that Dead Island is not as disastrous as Obsidian's action RPG. Still, we're not just talking about bugs and technical problems, here. Dead Island's combat mechanics and the gameplay in general aren't exactly well-polished. The combat is usually frustrating and the vehicle physics are awful. So, to be fair, this shouldn't be called 'The Buggiest Game in 2011' but rather something like 'The Game With The Drunkest Q&A Team' or something like that.
Why she sucks
To be completely blunt, I'm never really certain about what exactly I'm supposed to say about the babes that have not received as high a score as we hoped. They're still babes. And we love 'em!
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