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Goodbye 2013, I'm Not Edward Snowden
Filed under: GAMING, 2013

We've all spent 2013 doing our own thing. Some of us created, others destroyed, some have done absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, I'm one of those who did absolutely nothing noteworthy. Or nothing at all, if you will. Movies were crap this year, with the slightly disappointing Desolation of Smaug (fun isn't the only thing I expected here, I wanted more from this). If it wasn't for a few titles mainstream gaming would be a colossal waste this year. Consoles? Hah! Seriously, the Xbox One and PS4 seemed okay until all of us realized that the launch lineup for both systems was pathetic. Next-gen is a long way away. Also, 2013 was the year I broke up with my girlfriend, although the biggest issue right now is that I don't have any toilet rolls left. So, at least I'm focused on the 'now'. Okay, sorry for the depressing start, but one has to keep the pessimism boat afloat.

On a brighter note, the world is getting more crowded by the minute (and yet we continue to pork each other), the economy is going to shit and pretty soon we'll all be living in our own garbage. In conclusion, not much has changed since 2012. Looking back on all the events that went on, I can only really think of one person that stood out. Here's my person of the year 2013:

Everyone, please salute Mr. Edward Snowden's massive ballsack. It takes guts to do what he did. And for the last time, and for the record, I am NOT Edward Snowden!! Do you think he'd be wasting his time like this?

*Vader peeks out the window*

Damn, that blackish van still hasn't left. Carpet cleaners my ass!!

Be on the lookout for AT's Game of the Year 2013, which definitely goes up tonight (sorry, just can't make it sooner than that). We'll be posting one more comic on Saturday, but today is our last news update. See you all in 2014. Have a Very Mery Christmas and a Damn-Happy New Year!

29 post(s)
Reader Comments
Reikhardt Dec 24 2013, 04:19 am EST
Merry Christmas Mr Vader and whatnot.

Never spotted that resemblance before.
Predictable early lead for GTA V in the poll.
  Vader: Merry Xmas, o' loyal AT reader. And yes, GTA V in…
Superastic Dec 24 2013, 04:52 am EST
Nice selfie :)

Merry Christmas and may 2014 be awesome.
RacerX Dec 24 2013, 05:31 am EST
Merry Christmas!
Vodoo Dec 24 2013, 05:33 am EST
true, nothing interesting this year.

at least last year stupid people took themselves out of the gene pool by committing suicide fearful of the wrath of space mayans.

ohh well, Merry Mithras Vader.
Un Om Bun [STAFF] Dec 24 2013, 05:41 am EST
I'm kind of ashamed for not having heard about Edward Snowden till now. It's a good thing you look like him.

By the way, what are you reading there ?
  optimus slime: "Manara - The Smell Of The Invisible" is the translat…
Un Om Bun: At least they're girl farts.
optimus slime: He looks like he's enjoying them.
Vader: It's sublimely dirty.
shaneh39199 Dec 24 2013, 06:00 am EST
@ un om bun, You must not be an american?

You see here in the US, people have been brainwashed into thinking he's a traitor for telling my fellow americans and the rest of the world what exactly governments are doing with technology our entire species has never had the experience of handling before.

I foresee a very scary future for my kids. (which i doubt ill have).

But then again the future has always been scary...right? brainwashing,spying and electronically replacing truth with lies has never been as easy as launching an app!

Takes chill pill* sigh*

Now why is edward snowden on a video game news website( seriously have people stopped you in public and asked xD lol you look JUST like him.) although you'll never be as happy as him constantly running country to country before the NSA and US can bend you over and teach you a lesson lol..

anyways....About that steam winter sale.
  Un Om Bun: People are dumb as cattle where I come from too, if i…
Vader: Yes. They have stopped me in public to ask me that qu…
RenegadeCZ Dec 24 2013, 06:03 am EST

and merry Christmas you bitter old bastards! I hope you all have someone to spend today with.
Terminator Dec 24 2013, 07:21 am EST
I can't believe 2013 is almost gone. Where does time go? Anyway, I hope 2014 is a good year for everyone on this website. Happy Holidays everyone :)
  Vader: Happy Holidays man! :)
daver18qc Dec 24 2013, 08:26 am EST
Voted Bioshock Infinite but my close second choice was Saint's Row IV.
The Dubstep gun alone could have been nominated for best weapon of 2013 i think.
  Vader: Dubstep gun. Sounds annoying.
RenegadeCZ: What? It was retarded. An original idea, but there wa…
touretul Dec 24 2013, 09:12 am EST
Well, I finished my Next T Movie script. Wait for the publishing on line.

I voted Outlast for Game of The Year, with Stanley Parable as very close second.
  Vader: Outlast was good. Not good enough to warrant best of …
touretul: It was the best of what I played.
Vader: GTA 5, BioShock Infinite and XCOM were all better. Gr…
Doomsday. Dec 24 2013, 09:27 am EST
Aloha bitches!

Coming year there will be a Mrs. Doomsday! Now thats what I call getting fucked in the ass proper aye!!! :D

PS: Vader looks he is really turned on by that novel!! Horny dick, lol!
  Terminator: Good luck with your marriage Doomsday. You will need …
Doomsday.: Haha true that mate! Thanks! :D
CJ_Parker: Bring lube, Doomz. LOTS OF LUBE!!!
Vader: I'm not turned on. Okay, I am. But I'm also amazed.
Doomsday.: What if I use my saliva as lube for her pussy?!? …
Vader: That's true. It is.
Jonathan_Leack [STAFF] Dec 24 2013, 10:55 am EST
You resemble him A LOT. That's awesome.
Cedtsmk Dec 24 2013, 01:50 pm EST
Didn't realize you were so young.
Vader [STAFF] Dec 24 2013, 03:35 pm EST
I'm 34. It's not THAAAT young.
CJ_Parker Dec 24 2013, 03:38 pm EST
HAHA fucking sneaky carpet cleaners these days are a bitch ain't they? I wouldn't give Snowden that much credit though. I'm sure the whole Snowden thing was staged. It is completely atypical for any secret service to give a single person access to as much information and intelligence as Snowden apparently had access to.
It is standard MO of any secret service to distribute information in very small chunks. Every person only gets to know juuust enough to fulfill their assignment but never more than that so the whole Snowden episode is an extremely unlikely scenario.

The US government had a smoldering wild fire with their whole surveillance system. It was a perfect opportunity to make the public aware of it pretty much right after Obama had begun his 2nd term with no chance of a re-election.
It was the perfect time to launch the balloon called Snowden. Look at how US officials first wanted him nailed to the cross and now there's talk about amnesty. I'm sure the guy will walk free one of these days with millions in his pockets from the government as a salary for his artistic performance in the case.
It also helps that he has an every day face like Vader so Snowden can blend right back in once he walks free.

No, Sir. Man of the year for me is Nelson Mandela. Possibly the most amazing biography in the past century. From 27 years(!) in prison straight to president of South Africa and the Nobel Peace Price. An unparalleled "career" of a peaceful freedom fighter. Truly one of the most amazing personae to ever have graced the face of this planet.

Long live the memory of Madiba!
  Terminator: I'm with you on Mandela. He was an amazing man.
Vader: Well, I could hardly go: PERSON OF THE YEAR - Nel…
Un Om Bun: Nelson was also nice.
CJ_Parker: Vader, dammit! Stop being so pragmatic! :p
Vader: Pragmatic is my middle name.
im_stardust Dec 24 2013, 09:11 pm EST
  CJ_Parker: Well done and merry fucking xmas to you too asshole! :D
Vader [STAFF] Dec 25 2013, 01:26 am EST
Tinniest Optimist of 2013 - stardust!
  Reikhardt: Also, Tinniest Wang of the Year - Stardust
Un Om Bun: I think this guy's still the tinniest: http://thet…
Reikhardt: I see what you did there.
Vader: I don't. Oh wait, I do.
Doomsday. Dec 27 2013, 09:56 am EST
Where the FUCK is everybody?!?!!
  Vader: I have no idea. I was hoping that the GotY and BotY 2…
Terminator: I'm still around. Now that I have some free time, I'm…
Vader: Wait. You never played Human Revolution? Impossible. …
Terminator: It's another playthrough. I got Human Revolution on r…
Vader [STAFF] Dec 27 2013, 12:56 pm EST
They've all gone spelunking.
Un Om Bun [STAFF] Dec 27 2013, 01:14 pm EST
Make a new mornin post cause this one's all used up.
im_stardust Dec 27 2013, 05:20 pm EST
Haven't gone anywhere. I'm playing Don't Starve alone in my room in the dark and with the drapes closed.
Doomsday. Dec 28 2013, 08:23 am EST
Me watching Hannibal TV series.. Pretty good atm! :D

A good replacement for Dexter!
Terminator Dec 28 2013, 06:33 pm EST
Today I started watching DaVinci's Demons on DVD. I can't believe I missed this show on tv. It is fucking awesome!
Doomsday. Dec 30 2013, 05:11 am EST
Was playing XCOM but I really don't like turn based games. The only one I did like and loved is Final Fantasy VII !!

Anyways, playing Dune 2000, hehee! These classics are always there to replace any shit that comes out these days! :D

PS: XCOM is not shit, just not my type of game.. :)
Whisky Dec 30 2013, 12:32 pm EST
Whatcha looking at there, Vader?
im_stardust Dec 30 2013, 01:19 pm EST
Looks like an adult comic book.
  Vader: What ever gave you that idea?
EricHalfBee Dec 31 2013, 02:00 am EST
I'm still playing Borderlands 2. Add in the the DLC and that game is huuuge.
Vader [STAFF] Dec 31 2013, 01:53 pm EST
Coop only that game. Otherwise it's as boring as fuck.
  EricHalfBee: I agree - at least I've never played it solo but can …
EricHalfBee: I recommend the Tiny Tina DLC - funny and sad.
RenegadeCZ: Your momma is a boring fuck.
EricHalfBee: ..
Vader [STAFF] Jan 01 2014, 03:10 pm EST
Fresh updates start tomorrow, folks. Just so you know :)
  Terminator: Good. This morning post is dead as a doornail.


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