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Mornin' 11
Starting today, ActionTrip will be all about sex, violence, blood and outright gore... in the fridge. Because, believe it or not, there's a lot of sex, violence, blood and gore that goes on daily in our fridges. Every time your tummy rumbles, seeking to be filled, you open the fridge and slaughter, massacre some poor unfortunate animal that's been lying dead -- or in some cases -- alive, and then you simply devour it with no hesitation, remorse or indeed hesitationness or remorsity. It all happens every hour of every day in our lives; the violence, blood and gore, and it all happens in your fridge.

Ah and now it's time for the sex. Yes, sex only happens in the fridge. It can't happen anywhere else. It's a shame. Why only the other day, I was slowly flirting with my ice box and within a few seconds I rapidly boinking its marvelous frozen contents. It's a glimmering cold wasteland awaiting your attention, so each time you have an erection do not hesitate for one minute - just open the ice box and introduce yourself.

If you were offended by this post, then I truly, truly, don't give a flying toss!

If, on the other hand, you feel encouraged by such wisdom, then by all means, let me know, I know some pretty cute fridges that are single and looking for a good time.

Oh and just look at this little teaser:

22 post(s)
Reader Comments
Marku5K Nov 26 2011, 04:16 am EST
MoCus Nov 26 2011, 04:22 am EST
an ice box? aint that... cold?
is that a metaphor to some ice-cold woman you have?
Bubu Nov 26 2011, 04:28 am EST

The BOTD like hardwood? hehehe
Ftmch Nov 26 2011, 04:43 am EST
"Every time your tummy rumbles, seeking to be filled, you open the fridge and slaughter, massacre some poor unfortunate animal that's been lying dead -- or in some cases -- alive, and then you simply devour it with no hesitation, remorse or indeed hesitationness or remorsity. "

Actually, my girlfriend is a vegan, so I eat a lot of vegan stuff every now and then, and vegetarian (mmh, cheese).

Doesn't beat some good salami though.
Although if I do it salami, I can forget about getting intimate until I've at least brushed my teeth.

(And she's not even a hippie OR a hipster, her dad is some sort of crust-punk vegan sort of person though, guess it rubbed off on her)
  optimus slime: I guess she's not vegan when you rub off some salami …
im_stardust: She only likes one kind of meat.
Ftmch: Haha! Oh, you guys! (You have no idea how many sa…
Alchemy Nov 26 2011, 05:08 am EST
I'd so smash that fridges back doors in, if it had any
Morkrul Nov 26 2011, 05:39 am EST
WOOHOOO!! finally AT will be my place to hang out!
Doomsday. Nov 26 2011, 05:49 am EST

I'll keep my Fleshlight in the freezer for an hour before using it! Ice jerkoff bitches! Thanx for the idea Vader! ;)
  im_stardust: Like fucking a dead body. Nice!
EricHalfBee: Check out Cold Ethyl by Alice Cooper
optimus slime: Don't leave any kind of liquid inside before you free…
Doomsday.: lol! I'll keep things warm enough not to freeze!
Un Om Bun: He needs to cool it down cause otherwise he'd melt th…
Cheddar: Life is about lessons learned. Doomsday's about to…
Neath: I havent been on this site in ages and the first thin…
Un Om Bun [STAFF] Nov 26 2011, 06:11 am EST
Nice ass on that fridge.
  CJ_Parker: Haha you crazy fuck! That was funneh! :p
PainZero Nov 26 2011, 07:28 am EST
I joined the swtor beta this weekend and even though I'm not a fan of MMOs it looks like a decent game. Though it would have been much better if they devoted all that time and money on making a KOTOR3.
im_stardust Nov 26 2011, 12:18 pm EST
Star Wars ToR is just another WoW clone. That is all. It is as enjoyable as the countless MMORPG I played trough. Go, grind and repeat.

The quality and overall look of the game, makes me think, it should be free to play. The environment looks absolutely lifless, the charactes and the quests are dull, their puppet faces don't inspire any emotion at all.

As long as you are in the "completely wasting your time" business and don't want to be knowledgeable of the days, weeks, months, years that pass by you, in a heartbeat, without any real achievement for you, any of this MMORPG will do, they all revolve on the same principle.

But I have an idea, next time you want to sit in front of your computer with the thought of playing one of this MMO's, go to the market instead and buy a box of matches and a cake.

Then, come home put the cake on the table and spread the matches all over the room. Start collecting them 1 by 1, until you gather them all. Pat yourself on the back and eat the cake. After that, repeat.

For diversity you can exchange the cake with a cookie and the matches with pencils or invite your friends to help you complete the .... quest.
Kurio Nov 26 2011, 04:46 pm EST
Well you do realize grinding is just a time killer to allow devs more time to experiment with bugs, content and so forth, also to keep people playing.
But like any mmo i bet it only starts for real at max level, with pve and pvp, which in the end is what mmos are about, not questing :S
That said, i dont give a crap about swkor
im_stardust Nov 26 2011, 05:38 pm EST

Pull your head out of your ass Kurio.
  Cheddar: You first. Kurio didn't say anything unreasonable.
Cheddar Nov 27 2011, 02:54 am EST
Grinding in MMORPGs is hardly something WoW invented. Of course Old Republic will have grinding. How could it not have grinding? It's an MMORPG, isn't it? Grinding is requisite for the genre.

Fundamentally speaking, I've always thought MMORPGs are ultimately just about making numbers go up in a pseudo-meaningful social environment. I can't imagine Old Republic will be any different. MMO players *WANT* grinding. I don't think they'd know what to do with themselves without it.

I mean, afterall, real life is about grinding. And it seems to me that parallel is integral to why MMORPGs are effective for some people as de facto substitutes for real life social interaction and achievement.
im_stardust Nov 27 2011, 03:23 am EST
Relax Cheddar, take a deep breath and go play the beta. You'll know what I'm talking about. Major and minor details from Wow area heavily imprinted into SWTOR and it's absolutely logical, because WoW has/had the only real recipe for success.

Now get the fuck out of here and stop editing your comments so much, it doesn't impress me. That goes for Kurio as well, who first wrote something utterly stupid.
  Cheddar: Your statement that WoW has "the only recipe for succ…
Cheddar: You know a thought suddenly occurs to me... Right …
LongJohn: Man, like, aint takin sides here, but everquest reall…
Cheddar: Well, they called "Evercrack" for a reason. I rememb…
Cheddar Nov 27 2011, 09:45 am EST
Take a deep breath? Play the beta?

Stardust, you seem to have me confused with someone who plays -- and cares about -- MMORPGs.

I have a lot of second-hand experience with 'professional' (yeah, lol, right?) PvP WoW from a few years ago when I was on the staff of a certain e-sports organization (ugh), so I understand the game and the genre, but I don't actually *play* these games, man.

I won't be touching Old Republic with someone else's ten-foot pole.

Anyway, what exactly is stupid about Kurio's post? Because, actually, everything he said is common sense. What do you disagree with, the thing about hardcore players, or how developers use an MMORPG's intitial grinding period right after release to iron out gameplay? Because both points are true. I can verify first-hand the former, and common sense observation of the industry demonstrates the latter.

And btw, I edited my comment to be nicer to you, actually... trying to be less reflexively acerbic. Well, somewhat.

Even though you don't deserve it, of course.
Bubu Nov 27 2011, 11:20 am EST
Fuck me dude you must be a really boring person to talk to. So many words and so much bullshit. Clever bullshit, BUT BULLSHIT NONTHELES.
im_stardust Nov 27 2011, 01:31 pm EST
I don't get this guy. Whats wrong with you, man? If you don't play or care for MMORPG, then what's your fucking problem?

Or do you suddenly give a shit about Kurio or Kurio's posts?
Your quarrel is with me, I get it, that's all it is.

Even Kurio's edited post is flawed. Why? Because the MAJOR GRINDING happens at max level in both PVE, PVP. OF COURSE it's made to keep people playing and OF COURSE it's a time consuming money maker, a slot machine in which you put money and drains your life away.

World of Warcraft was not revolutionary in terms of gameplay, but again, it had the best recipe, the best ingredients. AND that's why I don't even have to say it, but it's at the mind of a chicken, that SWTOR will first and foremost try to borrow as much as possible from WoW. That's why SWTOR can be called a "Wow clone". It is too damn obvious

This is the basic formula most MMORPG are built on, yes, but by NO CHANGE it the only way. This genre can be made more random, spontaneous and fun and with minimalistic grinding. It doesn't have to feel like a necessity, like going to work, killing the same boss the 50th time and running the same instance or raid the 50th time, like a zombie.

So, what the hell are we talking about here?....This is taking to much time and I'd rather grind something.

We're moving slower thanks to greediness not technology.
  EricHalfBee: There are several ways the genre could be made more f…
LongJohn: Reminds me of the pirate beta of wow, i started an ou…
Cheddar: Stardust, I don't have a problem. I never did. Any …
Doomsday. Nov 27 2011, 01:52 pm EST
  FesterSilently: ...what you said, brother.
Vader [STAFF] Nov 27 2011, 03:16 pm EST

No sleeping!
albundyhere Nov 27 2011, 09:26 pm EST
does the fridge do anal?
Vader [STAFF] Nov 28 2011, 12:09 am EST
That's something that should remain strictly between you and the fridge.
  LongJohn: Im sure some fridges would be up front about it, mayb…
Vodoo Nov 28 2011, 02:35 am EST
the fridge is an will open up for anyone.
  LongJohn: Nice :P


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