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Mornin '13
Filed under: UK

We come into the office at 9 o'clock, sharp. And what do we do for the first 20 minutes? We talk about traffic and commuting. It's the same every morning. Those 20 minutes could've been spent wisely, but no, we just had to talk about traffic and commuting. It's that exciting. Lots of swearing going on too. It's worth it just cuz of the swearing.

Sex is worth it too, because of the swearing.

After those 20 minutes are wasted, we all start to work in silence. Thus another workday begins. The sound of typing away at keyboards. The annoying sound of mouse clicking, the utterly dreadful sound of someone sipping coffee in a slurpy, irritating manner and so on. It's worth it, however, because of the coffee drinking and the irritating slurpiness.

Sex is worth it too, because of the coffee and irritating slurpiness.

Before you know it, it's time for lunch. That's actually the fun part, because we eat and it's damn-well worth it, because of eating.

Sex is wo.... oh forget it.

Anyway, after lunch we all comment on what we had for lunch. By the time we're done with that it's tea time and I do wish I lived in Britain. In fact, I do wish I was British. It's a long dream of mine. We all have our dreams. Someone dreams of being Mongolian. Not me. UK ftw. My work day ends with a massive sigh: "*SIGH*... still not British."

19 post(s)
Reader Comments
Vader [STAFF] Apr 25 2013, 02:16 am EDT
I'm clearly alone in this. So many people want to be Mongolian. And it's only fair ain't it...
Vader [STAFF] Apr 25 2013, 02:32 am EDT
Coffee anyone? Tea?

Dick_Swet Apr 25 2013, 02:44 am EDT
I want to be French, British swine. They are so fabulous.
  Vader: Ah, there's always a common misconception that the Fr…
Dick_Swet: Yes, their use of snails in bed is mind-boggling.
RenegadeCZ Apr 25 2013, 02:45 am EDT

There's a deep message hidden somewhere between the lines of this post, however I fail to unveil it.
  Dick_Swet: Vader likes to be sweared at while eating pussy. Or l…
Vader: Commuting in bed. How could you possibly miss that?
Morkrul: LOL
Reikhardt Apr 25 2013, 02:54 am EDT

You don't really want to be British. You want to be what non-Brits think we're like, that 1950's slightly repressed gentlemanly society.
In reality what we are now, in the main, is bunch of coarse, entitled, whinging, crass, ignoramuses living in a country that is heading slowly but inexorably towards the bottom of the pan.
  KraGeRzR: Oh yes. I'm Australian, but I know exactly what you'r…
Reikhardt: Ah the politics of envy! The great driver of Western …
KraGeRzR: Exactly.
Doomsday. Apr 25 2013, 03:00 am EDT
Vader [STAFF] Apr 25 2013, 03:40 am EDT
There's nothing that stops a thread going more than Doomsday's comment: 'Mornin'

Feel free to add something else, Doomsday.

Doomsday. Apr 25 2013, 03:55 am EDT
^ I always thought phone sex was lame and for lame-os! But, hearing that hot girl of mine making sex noises and shouting my name gave me the best fucking boner, AND orgasm! Oooh yeeahh!

Phone sex is worth it! Because of the hott sexy noises! :D
  Bubu: How about REAL sex? You ever going to try that?
Doomsday.: Yes! When I marry that hot chick! :D
Vader [STAFF] Apr 25 2013, 03:57 am EDT
That's better. Thank you :)
Morkrul Apr 25 2013, 04:00 am EDT
you know, the usual question of "how are you"? i don't ask it unless i actually want to know the answer... it's so stupid that people always answer fine or good, even when they aren't remotely fine.

time for some irish coffee
  Vader: Mmmm... Irish coffee. You've got my attention, sir.
Marku5K Apr 25 2013, 04:59 am EDT
So when do you think is the earliest we get to see some actual gameplay from GTA V?
Vader [STAFF] Apr 25 2013, 05:01 am EDT
The year 2035. On a Tuesday.
  Dick_Swet: Aww, I'm on a business trip on Tuesday.
Vader: Tough titties.
Marku5K: Fuck, I'll be visiting my granny then. No internet th…
Vader: Your granny sounds youngish and full of vitality.
Marku5K Apr 25 2013, 06:21 am EDT
Good news.

I read that 3 trailers are gonna be released on the 30th. One for each main character of GTA V :)
  RenegadeCZ: Sweet. Where'd you read that? Can't wait by the way.
Dean_Demon Apr 25 2013, 11:32 am EDT
Well i'm british so i'll make up for the rest of you, now time for tea.
kreep69 Apr 25 2013, 03:18 pm EDT
Its a coincidence you made this post today - just saw one of the worst movies I've ever seen last night -​1 - and it has a recurring bit about 'British Things' being better and okay and to 'carry on'. For example: a fart, murder, etc. being okay because it was a 'British fart' or a 'British murder' and all proper and so on. Cheerio!

And don't forget 'Lord British' and the Ultima games heheheh.
antonphd Apr 25 2013, 03:19 pm EDT
this is why i visit this site. the funny ass shit you guys say. fuck IGN.
TrevorOreius Apr 25 2013, 05:51 pm EDT
I'll have coffee with a side of se...
Breedy_Mcfluff Apr 25 2013, 09:13 pm EDT
If I had a British accent, I'm pretty sure I'd be up to be neck in vag.
Seriously, I even got yellowish teeth and I enjoy tea.

Kill me.
  tei187: nah dude, it's a common misconception, and an old one…
tei187 Apr 26 2013, 11:33 am EDT
well, my office day was boring... spent half of the day doing stuff, spent the other half pretending i'm doing stuff. got assured that i have a monday off, got reassured that i actually have to be at work. weather was... fine-ish - warm but looked like it'll rain soon.
then, when i was 5 minutes away from going out, my coffee cup i was washing broke and i cut my index finger, nasty bleeder. my colleague started to panic, key account manager gal almost fainted, heard a "oh shit" coming somewhere from the corner... then i got mad and yelled "can i get a !FUCKING! paper towel here?".

my favorite coffee cup - 3 euros.
paper towel - approx. 1 cent.
showing that i can bring a dull party back to life with a sudden spectacular loss of blood - PRICELESS.


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