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Mornin '14
Filed under: CHINA

You've probably heard about this. It's a rather horrifying story about a miner who was found in China after being buried underground for 17 years - a 59-year old survivor from a 1997 mining accident. Holy crap! Imagine that. You come out into the burning sunlight and you return to the world that now has The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, the Star Wars prequels, GTA V and the PS4 - not to mention a totally ruined SimCity franchise. Now, that in itself is a shock.

Btw, the guy survived on stashed of rice and water and he spent most of his time hunting rats. All joking aside. I hope he hasn't gone too bonkers afte being in a fucking hole all those years. Hopefully he can enjoy the rest of his life. 

UPDATE: The most important thing of all, the whole story is a fake. My congrats to the sleaseball who put the story up. You got me, that's for fucking sure. Anyway, think of it as an interesting hypothesis. 


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13 post(s)
Reader Comments
Vodoo May 12 2014, 04:21 am EDT
i will also presume he won't be a fan of the Metro franchise.
  RenegadeCZ: Or.....Minecraft.
Vader: Or indeed Dragon Age 2. But it won't matter because t…
Duffey May 12 2014, 04:35 am EDT
also is a fake story :)
RenegadeCZ May 12 2014, 04:48 am EDT
Morning.

Oh imagine that. Being able to see LotR for the first time again. I almost envy him (even if the story is fake).
Morkrul May 12 2014, 04:56 am EDT
he never played quake, and to come into this everything-mediated-by-mobile-devices type of relations....ugh
hope it's true anyways
PigMaster May 12 2014, 05:21 am EDT
I seriously doubt he cared, cares nor will care for the LotR trilogy.
It was boring as fuck. Though I wonder his surprise, when he'll find out Michael Jackson is dead.
  Vader: Yeah, miners are huge fans of MJ :)
Reikhardt: But minors are not!
Vader: What about mining minors?
WeAreAllGonnaDie May 12 2014, 05:27 am EDT
PFFT... There are way better stories on that site Vader. Like the cure for homosexuality discovered by russian scientists, or that Judas smoked weed...
HAHAHAHA XD
  Vader: Ooo! Awesome on both accounts :)
Un Om Bun [STAFF] May 12 2014, 05:37 am EDT
That article's a hoax, ladies.
Vader [STAFF] May 12 2014, 05:41 am EDT
Well, I knoooow!!! I know now.
  WeAreAllGonnaDie: Also, articles in The Onion aren't true either. FYI,…
Vader: Who said anything about the Onion?
CJ_Parker May 12 2014, 07:09 am EDT
HAHAHA Vader u dumb cow!!
  Vader: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuooooooooooooo!!!!
touretul May 12 2014, 07:19 am EDT
I'm living in the underground for 30 years by now. my story is true.
Vader [STAFF] May 12 2014, 07:51 am EDT
I knew it. And you already broke the record. You've been eating rats and rice, haven't you?
  RenegadeCZ: He's been surviving on his own shit. That's the true …
Vader: Ewwww
touretul May 12 2014, 10:28 am EDT
no, I just listen to... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=953PkxFNiko
Breedy_Mcfluff May 12 2014, 04:22 pm EDT
When stories turn out to be fake and you believed them, you really shouldn't feel too bad. Everyone is fucking stupid sometimes 95% of the time.

If it had been true, at least the kid would've missed out on the Star Wars prequels.
  Vader: Yeah, I know I shouldn't, but I did. Also, I felt bad…
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