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Thoughts on Duke Nukem Forever
We haven't reviewed it, and I haven't played the game. I've been waiting since 7th grade, so I can wait a little longer, like until when the price comes down.

With I-don't-want-to-bother-calculating-how-much time gone by since the announcement until the release, there is no way that two things wouldn't happen. Duke Nukem Forever was bound to disappoint people, and any Duke Nukem title from conception is going to be an anachronism.

I'd like to address the readers that are around the age I was when Duke Nukem Forever was announced. If banging girls is something you're interested in, never mention Duke Nukem in public. Play DNF as masturbation material if you want, but no woman (or girl) is going to respect you for playing it. If you want to get laid, listen to the Arcade Fire, David Bowie and Radiohead and talk about it a lot. Also, brush your teeth, and don't stare at her tits.



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4 post(s)
Reader Comments
mmacarthur Jun 16 2011, 12:28 am EDT
Save yourself the time its bunk.
touretul Jun 16 2011, 04:25 am EDT
that's too much for just a pussy
JohnnyCage Jun 16 2011, 07:39 pm EDT
Gentlemen.
I registred just for this post. It seems that the person who wrote the article above has abolutely no understanding of the way women think. When I say that I like DNF, I explain always why I do. And it is mainly because of the dirty, childish and male chauvinist jokes that the game is made up of. Now, if the woman asks me why I like a game that objectyfies women, as DNF does, I can honestly say that it is a perfect escape from the politically correct world around us. I believe that women are completely equal to men, but that doesnīt mean that I donīt like a good "that's what she said" joke from time to time.
Duke 3D was the first shooter I played. It will always remain special. And from the new Duke I did not expect a worldchanging piece of art. I wanted entertainment and that's what I got. It was the first game in a long while that I played from start to finish with only the necessities of everyday life taking up some time during the playthrough.
So all together - if the writer of the article is too much of a pussy (like those who wear powerarmor) to confess to women what he really likes, then let him forever lie and only have mercy fucks that he can cheat out of unsuspecting ugly women.
Real men can say that they like Duke Nukem Forever and they are proud of it.

Yours sincerely,
Ronald
Cheddar Jun 16 2011, 09:32 pm EDT
Ronald, ever heard the phrase "unintentionally ironic"?

Might as well make an entry at urbandictionary.com and link your post to it.


Look, dude, be proud of your DNF fandom all you like...

But it's basically akin to, say, telling women you're a Justin Beiber fan.
  Loraxxe: Well, if those women were 14 it might work quite well…
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