Complete Loser's Guide to Counter-Strike

Match 11:

Crucial match... Try to barricade the front door of the house with the hostages. Hide behind the crates on the first floor and set off a couple of smoke grenades.

It's all goovy, baby!

TAUNT 1: Boy, smoking hay sure beats shooting!
TAUNT 2: Want some? Oooohhh... I, I have kaleidoscope eyes!
TAUNT 3: Cough, cough... my brain is so mellow... meeelloowww, meeaaoowww, meeeaaaoowww!!! Daddy, is that you???

Claim that you felt soo bad about the fact that you couldn't help the poor hen you had to drown your sorrows by lighting a couple of joints... Offer the CTs a little truth until the BUZZ goes away.

...

If everything goes according to the plan one of the CT players (the physically strongest of the three) will be so outraged by your total lack of respect, he'll get up and head straight for the part of the hall where your team is situated. Be sure you are the one on the receiving end of his violent attacks while the rest of the teammates stay focused on the job.

Huge CT Player: I'll F*ING KILL YOUR ASS, BITCH! YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!
TAUNT 1: LOOOSER! HEN HATER!!! Huge CT Player held down by security... MOTHER>>>>
TAUNT 2: Bite me, big boy! You're soooo baaaad karma!

In the meantime, your players remain on their positions. CT player 2 has got up for a smoke, and player three is looking for his outraged teammate to calm him down a bit.

This is the opening you've been waiting for! This is the time to strike!! 60 seconds left 'till the end of Match 11, and it appears that all CTs models are nothing but still targets. Your brain-dead player walks up to the CT models and blows them away with the .50 Eagle. He/She actually misses one from about 2 inches, but he/she gets them all eventually. And in time...

Match 12:

The commotion lasts for at least another 30 secs. Try spitting on of the security guys in order to create an even bigger mess. Brain-dead teammate rushes to the CT starting point... Oh no, he forgot to hit the B key! What now?? Take out the knife...

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... ALL CTs DEAD!!!!! YEEEEEE!!! The scoreboard reads CTs 10 Ts 2. It's time to take out that bottle of Champaign!
CT Player 1: What the f*k happened, guys!!!!
CT Player 2: I think... we.... Lost... Big Guy
CT Player: I swear I'll kill those fags; how much do we owe them??? Oh_my_GOD!!!!

Be sure to play the rest of the match so that everything goes by the book. Make loud noises and swear a lot to annoy the organizers some more. (Hey, you don't need to do that, but it's fun). Claim that the organizers set up defective desks with .04 bouncing coefficient, which is not nearly enough for your mouse to work properly. Also, claim that the outside air temperature doesn't match the one in the hall, hence creating an uneven pressure inside the hall (i.e. crappy playing environment). Complain about the lack of pre-paid hookers and non-fatty foods...

ACT III

You lose the rest of the matches and head straight for the door leaving the other team to cool down a bit. Not only have you won the bet, but also you've successfully managed to humiliate an up and coming CS clan, therefore making your presence felt in the CS community.

Couple of helpful suggestions for your clan's name:

1) The obvious - Clan Sick Hen

2) Britney Spears On YO' ASS. (You could use the famous Britney Spears spray logo tactic.)

Britney Spears on yo' ass!

EXCELLLENT TAUNT: Taunt enemy with Britney Spears' Lyrics.

3) Rasta Cannabis Reggae Liberation Front. (Cannabis is legal, as long as you don't get caught, maaaan.)