Need for Speed: Most Wanted Preview

All right, guys, the management says we have to come up with a concept for a new Need for Speed game.

Yes!

First Rule of Drive Club: If You See A Stop Sign, Break It.

It's fair to say you're in a bit of a mess.

Why in the hell are you so excited?

Am I not supposed to be?

You are, but when you do it like that, it looks suspicious. It’s better if it’s subdued excitement.

So just look like I’m worried, but feel immense joy deep down inside?

Don’t try to spin things around. And don’t be so covertly judgmental either!

Covertly judgmental?

That’s a new term the management came up with when screwing you over for bonus pay - penalty for being covertly judgmental of the company politics.

But I don’t even know what the company politics is.

Is that saying you would *like* to know?

No...

So you don’t feel like a part of the team?

I do!

Seems your excitement is underlined with covert judgment.

What should I say?

Don’t patronize me!

I’m not!

You’re patronizing me, your superior!

I’m not, honest!

Are those tears? Wipe your eyes; you are an embarrassment!

Sir, his wife is supposed to give birth in a couple of hours. He’s an emotional wreck today.

Aww... And can small babies with their innocent little eyes forge the path that the Need for Speed franchise needs to thread in the next few years?

They are completely useless, sir.

Good man. OK, back to the task at hand - Need for Speed - can I get a novel twist here?

Let’s see: "Need for Speed Underground 2, Need for Speed Underground, Need for Speed III: Hot Pursuit, Need for Speed: Porsche Unleashed, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2, Need for Speed: High Stakes, Motor City Online, World of Need for Speed, Need for Speed II, The Need for Speed, Need for Speed II SE, Need for Speed Collection, Need for Speed SE... "

We’re a bit stuck here, sir.

For God’s sake, someone give that guy some tissue. Get him out of here.

He might just run out of the building to see his wife and child.

Then lock him up in the supply room; tell him he’ll get paid for staying after hours.

Really?

Well, that will depend on how covertly judgmental he is of our practices once we let him out.

Oh.

Now, where were we - anyone have any ideas?

Me, sir.

Go ahead.

Need for Speed: Under the Influence - the players are supposed to drink as much alcohol as they can and then try to steer the vehicle, fighting off double vision, hallucinations, and total lack of motor skills.
You get bonus for every pedestrian you kill or cripple, and if you manage to locate your driveway without a mini-map while being stoned out of your skull, you get to take on other drunken drivers in the later stages of the game. Now get this; your opponents are actually celebrities previously charged for driving under the influence! We could have them provide their likeness for the in cockpit characters.

Mickey Rourke will be the ultimate champion - he’ll be on coke 24/7 and driving a Chevy pick-up truck with a bumper sticker that says, "St. Patty Steers Me Chariot".

For the grand prize, we could have you come home and engage in a mini-game by beating up your wife within an inch of her life, while in your drunken stupor. You’d get style points for it from O.J. Simpson - he does a touchdown dance as your wife’s limp body is hitting the floor tiles in slow motion.