Tomb Raider: Legend Preview

You may or you may not like the Tomb Raider games or the main heroine Lara Croft, but you have to admire what she's done for the gaming industry. I'm not going to discuss her bosom here, although I'm aware that this kind of talk would be far more interesting than what you may read in this article. So I'm warning you - this is going to be one dull article, with no mentions of sex, money, or violence (We'll see about that - Ed). I am not going to talk about the ways you might use your kitchen utensils for sex, and neither am I going to ponder on the aspects of paying or charging for sex. So let's just leave it at that. I mentioned the most famous virtual bosom in the world, the bosom of Lara Croft, and that's that.

Part I: Sex

In video games before Lara, women were not supposed to be heroines. Well, not in the sense of being perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, or skilled at using different weapons, performing acrobatics, and playing the leading role in adventure games. If women did hurt someone in action movies or video games, it was done unintentionally and served for comic effect, so it took people some time to get used to the idea that Lara was neither wimpy, helpless, or pathetic. As a matter of fact, they got used to the idea much better than you'd expect, mainly because of her huge juggs, and also because Lara's adventures were fun at the beginning (But mainly it was the juggs - Ed). Although Tomb Raider did not always grace us with the same level of quality (and that might be an understatement), it somehow never seemed to lose any of its popularity (this is probably an overstatement), so Eidos decided to continue producing Lara games. Thanks to Crystal Dynamics, Lara Croft will be back for the seventh time in a game appropriately called Tomb Raider: Legend. You may notice that the work on the new sequel to the Tomb Raider franchise has been handed over from the original Tomb Raider developer Core Design to the Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver authors, which may bring a welcome change in the staggering series.

Eidos and Crystal Dynamics did not have an easy task before them, judging from the fact the last Tomb Raider game - Angel of Darkness - didn't receive particularly good reviews. In fact, this was one of the poorest games in the series, so Eidos had to make sure the new game wouldn't repeat the tragic experience of its predecessor. In an attempt to do this, the developer has spent some time analyzing previous Tomb Raider titles, trying to learn from the mistakes made but also attempting to recapture the original flair of the series. They've also listened to all that fans had to say in order to find out what their expectations and general complaints about the previous titles were. For eighteen months now, they've been questioning the true values of the franchise and its heroine, striving to define Lara's position in the gaming industry of today. So in a way, Lara had to be re-invented and her position re-established (May I suggest the Missionary position? HA, HA!! -Ed) through the combination of the trademark elements of the franchise with the new, improved game play options. The developer intends to make a fast-paced action game that returns to the roots of the Tomb Raider franchise in search of the original elements that made the franchise a success.

Part II: Money

Lara is, of course, as beautiful as ever (Hooters - Ed), with more varied and complex facial expressions and an improved animation system (Blouse Bunnies -Ed). She is also looking more athletic than before (Boobies -Ed), and her hair has gotten a faint shade of red. She also comes with a large (Melons -Ed) arsenal of modern weapons and gadgets, which include a magnetic grappling device, frag grenades, and binoculars, as well as a personal lighting device and communications equipment (Knockers - Ed). Of course, Lara still has her dual (Bazoombas -Ed) pistols and her recognizable outfit, so you need not worry her tank top, shorts, and boots are gone for good. What are you suggesting? You would actually *like* to see them gone for good? Well try and contact Crystal Dynamics while they're still in the mood for listening to the fan's requests. Maybe you get lucky, you sick bastard. (Tip: Try bribing them with an insane amount of money, then break down before them and sob out you've been robbed on your way there, and are willing to strip off and belly-dance instead. Trust me, this works every time... Sucker.)

On the other hand, Toby Gard - Lara's creator and designer of the original Tomb Raider - claims Lara won't be 'too realistic'. In case you didn't know, the ex-designer at Core Design and Confounding Factor is now a member of Crystal Dynamics, so he got the chance to work on another Tomb Raider game. Gard also thought the series were becoming a bit of a drag, and he decided to bring in some fresh blood. "When I came in, my goal was to shake things up a bit. Make the old girl look different. Be a bit bolder with the direction. When I arrived here, I knew everyone was expecting something more modern, more up-to-date for the next game," he says. For that reason, he decided to make Lara's character model more realistic (Chi-Chis -Ed), making a compromise between the old and the new, modern Lara. This means her body is now going to be more 'standard-looking', with a slightly smaller bosom (I said *slightly*, god damn it!) and several other minor changes in her appearances, which should make her look more modern (Door Knobs -Ed) and believable. On the other hand, Gard tried not to exaggerate her realistic looks. "I didn't want to make her too realistic, because then she would lose some of the iconic nature of the character. It seemed to me that it would be good to find a balance between the caricature that Lara was and the need to be more realistic (Jiggly -Wigglies -Ed), more human. That was the goal. More detail in the anatomy (Lady Bumps -Ed), more detail in the facial features, but keeping the proportions, etc." Another innovation will be the presence of all Lara's items on her character model. In other words, things in her inventory that she has equipped are now supposed to be visible on her character.