"I should bean myself or I won't have a beaten up cent. It's the same thing when you're a farter and you're studying in school; many things fall on your brain and if you do not heat up the chair everything will go into a dick. Anyhow, I turned my best partner's phone because he's an unseen, smelly pussy and he didn't come to my party, even though I told him to be there like a white tulip. You know he lives like a kidney in fat too. Still, my cock hurts for him, because yesterday he tossed an iron all over his keyboard..."

Okay, before you ask me which drugs I'm on this week, let me explain. What you've just read is a very rough translation of random dialogue that was spoken using common Serbian phrases.

First off, here are a few explanations of a few weird-ass Serbian phrases:

My cock hurts! - Basically, it means that you don't give a rat's ass.

He'll be there like a white tulip! - When somebody has to do something or there will be trouble.

Everything went into a dick! - "It's all gone down the tubes."

Tossing an iron. - Ah, that would mean throwing up.

Farter. - Nipper, kid, rascal, shool-boy... something like that.

I should bean myselft. - Means I should wise up.

Next, here's a better translation of that same text (again it's just a random discussion, so there's not much meaning to it, but I lolled when translating those phrases):

"I should wise up or else I won't have a pot to piss in. It's like when you're a kid and you're studying in school; many things are on your mind and if you do not make an effort everything will go down the tubes. Anyhow, I phoned my best friend because he's an incredible wuss and he didn't come to my party, even though I told him he must be there. You know he lives in the lap of luxury too. Still, I don't give a rat's ass, because yesterday he threw up all over his keyboard..."

That's it.