last time i was happy on a monday was when i overdosed on drugs and thought i would die but then i woke up and realised i would have to carry on living this sorry shit of an existence.

a similar feeling i had while playing Allan Wake yesterday. the best way to describe that game is a great idea put together by retarded monkeys in practice. the story has nice potential but the way it was stringed and narrated makes high-school writing projects seem like works of art... ok, maybe that is a bit harsh. truth is, the story is good, im peeved about how it was implemented in the shitty gameplay.

allan wake is only scary when nothing happens, the forest is silent, trees sing a deathly lullaby and lights dance around in the night like willow-wisps in a spielberg directed fashion. the mood of the game is broken each time monsters appear and you have to go rambo on their ass.
the camera is skittish, the character moves in one direction while your screen is looking in a whole different one like a rally car with the sole exception that the driver in a rally has an intuitive control opposed to what you have in this game.
motion blur is so beyond the limits of reality as if the character is hyped up on magic mushrooms.
and the combat is bad not just in the way it works but because it exists. recharge pistol, recharge battery, increase brightness on the flashlight, recharge battery, wait until the chimney soot is washed off the possessed villagers, shoot 4 times to kill, adjust camera, run/dodge, punch desk because there are 5 of these bastards and you have to repeat procedure.
the dialogue is stiff and most of the times nonsensical as if watching a very bad tv show, then again, that's exactly what it is...an interactive tv show. (previously on Allan Wake ??????) was the game created intentionally for people with ADD ?

this game is at best worth renting.