Akimbo: Kung-Fu Hero Review

I think I'll remember March and April as one of the slowest months for PC games ever. Recently, I got to play such crappy titles as Evil Dead (God all-mighty, how I dread the day when 2Lions gave me that game to review). Back in March though, I was privileged to witness a solitary work of art called Summoner, which gave me many exciting and chilling moments and it also satisfied my undying lust for fantasy role-playing action/adventure gaming (yeah!). Sadly, I forgot these cheerful times during March the instant enchanted April came, bringing me a pain which will hopefully soon be forgotten. Besides Evil Dead: Hail to The King (just to remind you - I hate the game, but love the movie) I recently got a chance to try out Akimbo: Kung Fu Hero, or rather Zero.

Akimbo bimbo!

A nice shiny bomb exploding!

To begin with, I'd like to take you back to the times of platform games that featured parallax-scrolling and funny hand-drawn toon-like characters, which collected apples and oranges and chucked them at their enemies for eternity. I'm, of course, referring to the era when games were far simpler than the ones we're use to today - this is the age of side-scrolling games like Aladdin, Zool 1,2, and Jazz Jackrabbit 2 (the last good platform I remember made for the PC). Throughout the last ten years, video games have changed from titles that gave players a chance to control tiny squares that shoot at each other, to the amazing games of today in which the players can fight against life-like characters with enhanced artificial intelligence in a full 3D environment (i.e. control somewhat more detailed squares that shoot at each other). In the period between these two particular stages there were many titles that revolutionized game-making as we know it. Side-scrolling games were an important part of gaming evolution. It is because of their simplicity that they were accepted by a wide variety of players worldwide and they especially made a significant mark in the world of console gaming. So, what the developers had in mind here was to sorta recreate the feeling vast crowds got from playing classics like Super Mario. And maybe, in some ways it doesn't hurt to be reminded how much fun similar platform-jumpin' titles brought to the world, and just maybe, for someone it might be fun to experience this once again. Anyway, it is with this attitude that I approached Akimbo: Kung Fu Hero. Unfortunately, my thoughts strayed from this manner of approach soon after I played the game for, like, two minutes.

At first, when I sat down to play, I have to admit that I wasn't delighted with the game's story. The manga-inspired character you'll be leading, called Akimbo, loves to travel and take part in adventures. One day, during his travels, he came across an unknown seashore where he discovered a small bottle laying in the yellowish sand. The bottle had an important message inside which read: "We, the shamans of Turtle Island, face one of our greatest crises ever. A zealous dragon by the name of Fang has used his powerful magic to enslave the inhabitants of our island. It is only we twenty shamans that have been spared, but our powers are limited and we have failed to lift the dragon's spell. Please, we beg for the help of any who are able. Come to our island; help us defeat the dragon, before he destroys us all!"

Being a gentleman (a shoe-less one mind you), one of nobility and benevolence, and with nothing better to do (except sit at home and enjoy his playboy subscription), he decides to help the ill-fated inhabitants of Turtle Island. So, he sets forth to complete this self-sacrificing deed (well whoopee!).

Later throughout the game, the plot doesn't have anything exceptional that might be worth mentioning. There will be a few friendly and unfriendly characters though, that will appear now and then. For instance, the Shaman Sherlock (who will be showing up after every completed level to give you a fragment of an ancient scroll), and a friendly turtle called named Bobby Bumb (this charming creature will aid you sometimes during a few predicaments you may find your character in).

Anyways, characters like Bobby Bumb contribute more to gameplay than the plot. In certain situations you won't be able to continue your platformesque adventure without Bobby's help. Other characters are mostly huge bad-tempered bosses, which appear before the end of each level and annoy you until you send them to hell.