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Goat Simulator Review

publisher: Coffee Stain Studios
developer: Coffee Stain Studios
genre: Simulation

ESRB rating: RP

release date: Jan 01, 14
» All About Goat Simulator on ActionTrip

Coffee Stain Studios has zero expectations for their new game, Goat Simulator. On their website, they even go as far as to say their game is broken.

"Goat Simulator is a small, broken and stupid game. It was made in a couple of weeks so don’t expect a game in the size and scope of GTA with goats. In fact, you’re better off not expecting anything at all actually. To be completely honest, it would be best if you’d spend your $10 on a hula hoop, a pile of bricks, or maybe a real-life goat."

The thing is, I can’t argue against that. It probably would be better if you spent your ten bucks on a pile of bricks, but I bet you wouldn’t have half the fun you would with Goat Simulator.

Goat Simulator does not have a deep narrative detailing the life of a goat. Instead, the goat you control is plunked down in an open world where you can do whatever you want with it. You can try to complete all of the little quests the game gives you, such as jumping over an obstacle or successfully landing a back-flip. But it’s far more fun to run amok, scare the crap out of people, and well, destroy things.

As soon as I discovered I wasn’t confined to do these quests that kept popping up on my HUD, I sent my goat through as many houses as I could, destroying property, licking random people (which scares the daylights out of them), and jumping out of windows. When I was curious to see if I could kill the goat--as I’m that kind of monster, apparently--I head-butted a gas station with explosive results. Not only did the goat not die, I earned a Michael Bay achievement.

These quests are really the only direction the game gives players, and while it’s fun to try to complete some of these challenges, it’s far more fun to experiment on your own. I saw the quests as a way to teach me a bit how to play and maybe give me a goal or two. For example, two of the quests are to destroy Goat-henge and become the King of All Goats. Those sound like two challenges that need to be accepted! Oh wait, what’s that? A giant waterpark slide? I need to find a way to jump off that while sliding down!

The developer integrated the game with Steam Workshop, allowing users to create their own levels, modes, and missions and share them with the community. As long as the modders keep doing what they do best, it’s possible to never run out of things for your goat to destroy.

No, Goat Simulator won’t be game of the year by any stretch of imagination. However, those who want a stupid little game that rewards you for destroying things but won’t kill you, even if you head-butt a tanker truck, leap out a fourth-story window, or let a treadmill backspin you out into traffic, will not be let down by the simplicity the game has to offer. Just be prepared for buggy controls, a twitchy camera, and plenty of physics that don’t make sense (but you won’t care because it’s a friggin’ goat).


8.2   Very Good

You destroy stuff as a goat, what's not to like?

It's a bit of a buggy mess, but it's a fun buggy mess.


5 post(s)
Reader Comments
RenegadeCZ Apr 03 2014, 09:15 am EDT
Yeah I played it. I was entertained by it. For 20 minutes...

I really think a serious goat simulator would keep me interested for longer... Damn, I'm in a mood for some Euro Truck Simulator now!
Vodoo Apr 03 2014, 09:32 am EDT
i didn't even have to read the review to assume it would get a ridiculous high score.
no, it doesn't deserve a 8+ out of 10. it's a joke, it's not a product.

Goat Simulator is something you might see in the mod sections of the internet for a Half Life type game with a physics engine.

if it were 1 dollar, i would give it a 7 for the hidden jokes and humorous jabs at the entertainment industry.

as a GAME, with bugs and poor optimization, with 1 map, no other customization for characters or whatever, lackluster interaction apart from hitting stuff with your head....4 / 10.
  Reikhardt: It costs £6, it's fun. Don't be such a miserable fuc…
Vodoo: if by stating the obvious and making an objective ass…
RenegadeCZ: You can get a bunch of much better games for the same…
Killer Klown Apr 03 2014, 09:47 am EDT
Then again, it could also be argued that it does exactly what it proposes to do - simulating goats. It's not like, say, Barbie Horse Adventures in which Barbie did not in any way, shape or form get adventurous with a horse.
shaneh39199 Apr 03 2014, 03:03 pm EDT
Bought it. beat most of it: fuck flappy w/e

maxed out the steam trading card. haters gon hate.
Cheddar Apr 04 2014, 06:41 am EDT
I don't think a 10 buck game of this unique type is even intrinsically appropriate for critical review. So arguing about what score it deserves just seems silly to me.

The levels of customer satisfaction for / interest in this sort of experience are going to be all over the place.

The only objective point I can make is that people who have watched only two or three minutes of this game in action on Youtube or whatever will truly know fully and exactly what they'll be getting when they make their purchase, so if they're dissatisfied with it after that point, it's really their own damn fault.


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