Guilty Gear X Review

Before I got the privilege to review PC and Xbox games, my gaming days were somewhat preconceived and I knew exactly which games to buy, because it simply wasn't in my interest to bore myself to play numerous crappy games that constantly floated into the game industry. Now that I am a respectful ActionTrip employee, which as cool as it sounds has its disadvantages I'm afraid, I have to take care of the biz, so to speak. Imagine this scene: one moment you're happily and routinely doing your every-day duties, when suddenly something flies straight into the office. Oh no, crappy game alert! Ah crap, I knew the task of reviewing it would be assigned to me! Still, never mind; the kids need feeding and the dogs need their healthy Pedigree Chum food. Wait, I don't have any kids, and I have a cat! I must've been thinking about some other AT employee.

Right, here's the scoop on Guilty Gear X. Remember how fun it was going to the arcades, not knowing which game to play first? No matter what game was in question, whether it was the old Operation Wolf or Street Fighter, you were always kind of captivated by them and you just couldn't get enough. Guilty Gear X sort of takes me back to those peaceful years of my childhood. Wait, I just said that it reminded me of that time; I didn't specify any positive issues about the game. Whatever game I got the chance to play in my childhood years of arcade madness, it was certainly ten times better than this unfortunate title.

In all honesty, I haven't had the pleasure of checking out other titles from CyberFront, so I cannot make any snappy evaluations and scores related to their previous work. However, looking at the situation from the perspective of Guilty Gear X there's hardly anything that's noteworthy. Well, okay there are a few things. Apart from the game's imaginative choice of characters and features they individually possess, you can immediately distinct the corny 2D backdrops and some shoddy sound effects, which truthfully emulate C64 and Spectrum sound capabilities. Wait, but that's not so good, is it?

As you may have heard, this game was created for the Arcade, PS2, and DreamCast, and was consequently converted to the PC. This, in turn, caused some major drawbacks. For example, the keyboard cannot replace the easy-to-use controllers on the next-generation consoles (these controllers were specifically designed to withstand the heat of these kick'n'bash games). Moreover, you can think of this game as an excellent way of ruining your keyboard - just play it for a few minutes and as a result watch those keys fall off.

And the graphics, well, suffice it to say they leave much to be desired and some of the polys are too... Wait a minute. Polys? Who am I kidding? The in-game visuals plonk this game straight to the dinosaur age, and I'm talking about polys?! I should be discussing whether crappy games make good paperweights, or should they be used as coasters.

Editor's Note: It is at this point in the article that our poor-little editor Ure lost his patience, showing the full extent of ActionTrip's professionalism. Or the lack of thereof... Still, we agreed to put him on some medication and give him a few more titles to review later on. We're short on staff you see, and the local nuthouse won't let us recruit potential candidates.

If there's one good thing about this fighting game it would definitely have to be the wide variety of combat moves it offers. However, the sad thing is, you're gonna have to chuck in a coin every five minutes into your PC, in order to keep the game going. Oh yeah, the game comes with a special coin-expansion set, which is supposed to transform your desktop PC into an exceptional super-arcade-style-hyper-desktop-PC - also, a superb easy to use ATM machine was included with the game, so that you may withdraw large amounts of cash directly from your bank account, thus enabling this fabulous game to last even longer. In addition to that, you will be supplied with an adapter, thanks to which your computer will produce soft drinks whenever it's sunny. This, system will work only if you move your PC into your backyard. If you live in an apartment don't worry, cause the developers have arranged for new fully supplied backyards to be sent to customers worldwide (grills are also included). One more thing that really fascinated me was the fact that the developers have announced to give away free corks along with every copy of Guilty Gear X; hence, the players can put them in their ears so they cannot hear the pathetic in-game sounds and music. Some of these repetitive sound effects and music tracks can cause permanent mental damage to the player.

After all the good things you heard about this game, you're probably overjoyed with the idea of buying it, considering the benefits and features that come with it. Plus, I'm happy to inform you that there's a chance the game will get a sequel, which promises to add some cool features to the graphics and even bigger corks.