The Sims 2 University Review

The Truth About Bob...

Steve: Hello, John.

John: Steve! Long time, no see! What's been going on?

I never would have allowed my kid go to college had I known starting fires was a common practice in the campus.

You really should have seen the guys my son used to hang out with. 'Hello, mind if I milk you?'

Steve: It has been a while, I've been rather busy lately.

John: Too busy to give an old friend a call?

Steve: Yeah...but I could say the same about you - you know how to pick up the phone, don't you?

John: Well, Steve, I'll be perfectly honest with you. My son... let's just call him Bob... had some problems with his studies. So I had to be around to help him out a bit, you understand how it goes.

Steve: I thought your kid was in high school... Wait, what do you mean "let's just call him Bob?"

John: Because that's his name in the game, you schmuck.

Steve: Oh, so you've been playing the first Sims 2 expansion! I should have known.

John: Why, haven't you been playing it??

Steve: Of course I have, and I really dig it. My lovely girl Karen, who has just turned 18, enrolled in the university and passed her finals with flying colors. I couldn't be any happier. She has also met this charming and competent young fellow - they're engaged to be married, and the wedding's next month... That girl is a father's joy. She's worth every single cent I've invested in her.

John: Nice to hear that, Steve. I am really happy for you. I really am... (sobs)

Steve: What's the matter, John? You know you can always tell me.

John: Yeah, right... Could a sane person really confide in you? You suggested that we should kill my kid and raise a virtual one instead. And I am supposed to trust you?

Steve: Why of course. I'm the best friend you've got.

John: Well that's a comforting thought.

Steve: OK then, so what is it that made you so sad? Are you upset because you imagined university life would be different somehow? Or because your Sims lacked any real challenge at the university?

John: No, that's not it... Well yes, I did imagine life on campus to be much different from what I've seen in the game... It's an university life all right, with dorms and libraries and bunch of students that swarm around like demented bees. And they indeed go to their classes, write the term papers, and consult with their tutors and all that. And it was true what they say about these adolescent kids - most of them are only into sex. Their studies don't interest them a bit.

Steve: Well, that's hardly a fault, don't you think?

John: Of course, but somehow I still expected to see more action when it came to university life. This game was supposed to revolve around young adults and their studies, and most of the time it simply looked like wild teens living together, hanging out, wearing strange clothes and making out with their roommates.

Steve: Uhm, John, I hate to break it to ya, but that's exactly what college life is about.

John: Maybe, but I at least expected to see the students' activities at the university, see them going to their classes and engaging in a conversation with their professors. I never saw them *at* the university, which made the thing a bit dull.

Steve: Yeah, well, they can't all go through school by servicing man-meat.

John: What do you mean? I never went to college.

Steve: I wasn't talking about you.

John: Oh...

Steve: Anyway, that's true; it's kind of awkward to see them leave for classes...

John: Yeah, only to come home after the class and mill around their rooms. I don't know; I expected it to be more engaging when it came to studies.

Steve: Yes, but they do have a rather wide range of choices when it comes to declaring a major, don't they? Eleven of them, if I'm not wrong...

John: That's true, but they usually chose the weirdest subject.

Steve: What do you mean? They usually show their preferences to certain subjects depending on their character and general inclinations.

John: Usually they do, but take my kid for example... My kid Bob...

Steve: Now will you pull yourself together, John? Just tell me what happened to your damn virtual kid.

John: Okay... Well, you know how he was always into art and stuff? Bob was spending hours writing his damn novel on the computer and reading French poetry. He even said he wanted to be "bigger than Rimbaud".

Steve: You mean Rambo?

John: I guess that's what he meant, but I don't think that Sly writes novels. At least I never read any of them. What do you think they'd be about?

Steve: Why, boxing, of course.

John: I think that was Rocky.

Steve: I could never decide between the two. Which one had better-defined muscles?

John: Rambo, I think. But Bob could not possibly be bigger than him. Not with all that sitting on the couch and reading novels.

Steve: Quite right. Go on.

John: When Bob decided to leave his parents' nest and go to the university, I told him we couldn't afford to pay for an apartment so instead of living alone as he planned, he would have to live on campus. You know that he never was much of a social butterfly.

Steve: Yes, and?

John: Off to the campus he went, and completely freaked out after a week or two. It seems he couldn't make any friends there, and some scary goth girl was making passes at him so he became a bit bewildered. You know how it is important to have as many regular friends as possible. Without friends, you do not get many influence points, and that means your powers of persuasion are very low.

Steve: I could never say no to a good meal either.

John: Chicken?

Steve: No, beef.

John: Disgusting!