News Tagged: sexy

Going to pop out for a bite of fresh air. Oops, I meant a breath of fresh air, sorry. Well, actually, considering how much the air is polluted and thick, biting it would probably be easier as opposed to inhaling it. Anyway, I'm very pleased to see that my ongoing Fridge Campaign has met with such a tremendously positive response...

Starting today, ActionTrip will be all about sex, violence, blood and outright gore... in the fridge. Because, believe it or not, there's a lot of sex, violence, blood and gore that goes on daily in our fridges. Every time your tummy rumbles, seeking to be filled...

Whether it's raping turkeys or wrestling in the mud with relatives that tickles your fancy, I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving.

I can contain myself no longer. I confess. I did it. It was I who raped the moose. But, I couldn't help it you see. Those mighty horns, enticing legs and finally that irresistible, damn sexy moose call. Here, I even have a picture of the victim: She never knew what hit her...

The most unfortunate thing about Thursday is that it's decidedly not Friday. It's like marrying that caring girl next door while the love of your life goes off with a guy who's hung like a baboon. OK, I realize I may have been overly-melodramatic in this skewed analogy, but that's how I am. I'm like a 30-year-old chimp on Prozac who's been given a mirror and lipstick.